50 shades of gay...wedding
In this week's episode, the focus was on a wedding in Chicago - a wedding of a Manzo relative to his longtime boyfriend.
Family friends Teresa and Joe Giudice, who are currently at odds with the Manzos, were also invited, for some reason. Do they know the couple getting married, or did the producers just want to ensure some drama? You decide.
This was an unusual episode since everyone displayed a bit of class, and the couple -- Jamie and Rich -- exchanged vows that brought everyone to tears. But a drama-less moment is boring, so here are the naughty bits...
As this episode began, Joe was on a bus with the rest of the Jersey contingent and made a crack about the young Manzo sons' gay friend Greg, who lives with the brothers in a Hoboken apartment at 333 River St. and also was heading to the wedding. (What percentage of people at this wedding actually knew the happy couple?)
We shan't repeat the dig, but Greg didn't seem to find it funny. Giudice, a real estate developer who was in some trouble with the law, is known to be a little loose-lipped (which is sort of the opposite of the body part referred to in his bad joke).
As the Manzos and Giudices are in Chicago at the wedding, Teresa's brother, Joe Gorga, is hosting a pool party at the Jersey shore to kick off summer. His wife, Melissa, says they're classy and sexy at the same time. "That's our motto," she says. Yes, because it's really sexy to make statements like "There are going to be a lot of 'Gorgasms' at this beach house," which Joe did a few episodes ago. Perhaps he should have instead said there was going to be a lot of re-Gorga-tating.
At the pool party, the men start chasing each other and squirting each other with whipped cream. Rich Wakile, Joe Gorga's cousin-in-law, tells the camera that he's glad Teresa isn't there with her nonsense. I mean, what would happen if she got in the way of one of those mature whipped-cream battles? She might have made it less classy and sexy!
Kathy Wakile says that she prefers to eat whipped cream, not douse people in it. Thank you, Mommy Obvious.
Joe Gorga texts Teresa and invites her for the second time to go to therapy with him, to work out their differences. He tells Rich Wakile that it's worth going, because maybe he's the one who's wrong. Hold everything - a man admitting he's wrong? Now we know reality shows are scripted!
Back in Chicago, the wedding party lets loose some little paper "wish balloons" or "sky lanterns" that are buoyed by flames and start floating up to the sky. They explode in midair. They're really very cool. Since we figure people will Google these contraptions now that they've been shown on a popular reality show, we feel comfortable telling you that (a) there is a website called wishballoons.net, and (b) if you are more interested in the news of Hudson County, New Jersey, than in wish balloons, you should go to the Hudson Reporter newspaper group . Now that's opportunism.
Bravo shows us scenes from an upcoming episode, in which Teresa is fighting with Jacqueline Laurita and Caroline Manzo. Remember, a wise countess once said that money can't buy you class. It can buy you a lot of other things, so Bravo's putting "Real Housewives" on three nights a week now. That's a lot of fake breasts and noses!