RECAP: Real Housewives of New Jersey, Season 5, the premiere (and Hoboken has a starring role!)
Jun 02, 2013 | 11462 views | 0 0 comments | 45 45 recommendations | email to a friend | print
Caroline and Albert Manzo's apartment in Hoboken.
Caroline and Albert Manzo's apartment in Hoboken.
HOBOKEN AND BEYOND -- The new season of "Real Housewives of New Jersey" started Sunday night, 8 p.m. JST (Jersey Standard Time), and Hoboken played a starring role. Here's the recap from the Hudson Reporter community newspaper group, the only newspaper group based in Hoboken. For our recaps from the previous seasons, see the links below.

Hurricane Sandy, Hurricane Melissa, and Hurricane Teresa

The show begins with a natural disaster (as opposed to an artificial disaster, common on the show, such as a bad tan or pulled hair extensions). The Gorgas and Giudices check out their beach houses after Hurricane Sandy has swept through. Everything inside is decimated, and the outside doesn't look so hot either. They put the situation in perspective, with Teresa saying she's glad it's just their second home, and she knows people are homeless. She and the girls also donate items to the needy. OK, she gets some points for that.

She later says that if she had been in the house during the storm, she would have drowned, although it sounds like she says "drownded." Add that to the dictionary of Teresasms.

There's no mention of Hoboken during the segments about disaster, even though Albie and Chris Manzo live here. But Hoboken does make a special appearance later on, so be patient...

Jacqueline Laurita talks about dealing with her 3-year-old son, who is autistic, like an increasingly high number of kids in New Jersey (anything to raise awareness is good). Nicholas mentions an iPad, and Jackie is thrilled that he said a new word. Nothing funny about this segment, but it's an important issue and it's great that she's making people more aware.

Now let's get to the fun stuff.

Hoboken, no jokin'

Albie and Chris Manzo have lived in a luxury River Street high rise on the Hoboken waterfront for several years. A great many young people want to live in Hoboken for the nightlife, festivals, arts, views, proximity to NYC, and history, all packed into one square mile. But do they want their parents to come join them?

Caroline Manzo notes that she and hubby Albert just rented an apartment on the Hoboken waterfront for a year, even though they're not selling their place in Franklin Lakes yet. Caroline says that two of the kids are out of the house and the third one has a foot out the door, so it's time to explore their options. Hey, Caroline, haven't you heard of Rossmoor or Clearbrook?

(Can you picture Caroline puttering around the clubhouse?)

"Some people would suggest that I moved to Hoboken to be close to my sons," she says. "I'm not chasing my sons. Stupid people."

Uh huh. "Stupid" is a little harsh. There are 565 towns in New Jersey. Someone might draw a conclusion that it's not a coincidence. But we don't blame ya, Big Red -- We love being in Hoboken too.

Now everyone lives in our readership area except Lauren. Poor homegirl is always left out. We feel for you, sister. Come visit any time. And congrats on the anniversary of Cafface.

(By the way, Albie and Chris are judging a Sinatra Idol contest in Hoboken later this month - see links below for the news we reported on Friday.)

Rosie on the 'net

Teresa Giudice's cousin, Rosie Pierri, makes a short appearance, talking about how tough the same-sex singles scene is. She tried internet dating once and it was awful. She says, "She told me she was blond, killer smile." And what happened? Rosie tells us: "There was this 300-pound bleached blond with rotten f---- teeth and she smiles at me like this..."

In other words, the ad was truthful.

Gorga/Giudice drama

The Gorga/Giudice drama is set to explode this season. Joe Gorga says at the beginning of this episode that the families haven't seen each other in a year.

But for a school assignment, one of the Gorga girls, Antonia, writes a letter to her cousin, Milania Giudice, telling her she misses her. Melissa mails it for her. Teresa says Milania should call her cousin and invite her on a playdate.

But Melissa Gorga insists that she take the girls out rather than letting them play at Theresa's home. Caroline Manzo, who happens to be discussing this with Melissa at the Hoboken apartment, seems to find this petty.

Uh oh! Is Caroline shifting back to Team Teresa? It should be interesting how Melissa responds to that.

During a discussion of all the drama, Joe Giudice and Theresa make reference to a song they say is called "Dust in the Air." Yes, guys. That must have been released around the same time as "Castles in the Wind."

The drama is sure to heat up quickly. So come back to Hudson each week for our recaps (as well as news in Hoboken and other towns in Hudson County, New Jersey), and leave comments below. Also, you can advertise in the Reporter and reach over 100,000 readers in North Jersey. Call 201-798-7800 or send an e-mail via the website.

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