Joe and Melissa Gorga are trying to sell their house for $3.8 million. Before the recession, it was worth more than $5 million. Joe and Melissa want to move to get away from Teresa Giudice and family. This battle is getting expensive.
Melissa says she’s been praying to God for the house to sell. Hey, maybe you could mention praying for your father-in-law too, since apparently he’s getting a pacemaker?
Real estate agents bring prospective buyers through the house. The buyers notice cracks, and one of them tries to turn the sink on and the lever falls off in her hand. Meanwhile, the show cuts to Joe saying “You see the masterpiece. I’m Joey Michelangelo.” He said he was an angel from god in a previous season. Why is this man wasting his time on reality TV? He’s an amazing lover, builder, and person in general. He should be running for the U.S. Senate at the very least, now that there’s a slot open. How many million dollar houses has Cory Booker built?
The Realtor tells the couple, “For 3.8 million, you better have a pool.” But what about the house’s historical significance because Joe Gorga lived there?
Meanwhile, at Joe’s behest, Caroline Manzo asks Teresa to lunch so she can try to reunite the siblings. As one of 11 sibs herself, Caroline knows the pain. Lauren Manzo isn’t so sure this is a good idea. She says Teresa’s kids were “raised by wolves.” Excuse me, you know this how? If it’s because of what you see on this show, then you must also really believe that Joe Gorga likes to ask Chris Laurita about his sexual performance and it’s not just because the cameras are rolling.
Specifically, Joe asks if Chris needs to take Viagra because he’s forty six years old. Yeah, that’s annnnnncient. Chris was probably born around when Michelangelo started painting ceilings.
Meanwhile, Kathy Wakile talks about her daughter living at home while she attends college, which she says was the right decision. “I hear such horror stories about sex, parties,” Kathy says. Really? We heard stories about kids in dorms who finally learn to be independent and make lifelong friendships on their freshman floor. Well…and sex and parties.
Joe Giudice says that people shouldn’t make assumptions about his family. “Nobody knows everything,” he says. “Not even the president.”
Oh yes he does. He’s reading your Facebook!
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