That's the conclusion of the magazine Men's Health, which published another of its infinitely stimulating polls in its May issue. This time, their poll searched for the "Cities with the Best Sex," a survey of the 100 most sexually active and sexually satisfying cities in the U.S.
As in previous Men's Health polls and others, Jersey City warranted a mention. Only this time, rather than being a top, it finishes as a bottom in terms of sexually stimulating cities by ranking number 93, ahead of only seven other U.S. cities including nearby Newark.
In addition, Jersey City earned an 'F' grade, which stands for a four-letter word - FAIL.
The top-ranked city in the poll was Indianapolis, Ind. followed by Columbus, Ohio.
Condom sales included
The rankings were attained by taking several factors into account, including condom sales, birth rates, and purchases of erotic merchandise from two online retailers, Babeland and Pure Romance.
But why such a low rating when in the past three years, Jersey City has been named in various polls as one of the best places for dating, one of the 10 best places for walking, the second safest city for driving, and even one of the "happiest" cities?
And for those who believe size matters, the city has seen the erecting of the four tallest buildings in the state, including the tallest of them all, the Goldman Sachs Building on Hudson Street.
The city also has a bustling waterfront, a distinct arts scene, and lots of new developments. Jersey City is also known as official address of Liberty State Park and the Liberty Science Center.
One would think that all those factors would make New Jersey's second largest city a turn-on.
What an expert thinks
Nicole Matthias, a resident of the Greenville section of Jersey City, is also the founder and owner of Badfun.com, an online adult novelty boutique based in Roselle Park. Her site is akin to Babeland and Pure Romance.
Matthias checked out the poll in the magazine and took issue with its methodology.
"You look at the cities at the top of the list, and you find that those are places where people get married younger and are looking for ways to prolong the marriage by purchasing sex toys," Matthias said.
She noted that in Jersey City, "There are young couples, but they have busy professional and social lives, and sometimes romance gets put on the backburner."
Matthias also said that using erotic merchandise sales from two companies, and condom sales in general, does not lend credence to the poll.
She said she would take the survey more seriously if they actually interviewed people in the respective cities.
"They mentioned condom sales as criteria in this poll on sexual satisfaction, and I think that has more to do with quantity than it does quality," Matthias said.
Matthias also expected major cities like New York City (No. 71) and Los Angeles (No. 58) to have a better showing, and believes Jersey City deserved a "better ranking."
'They didn't give a 69'
Lifelong resident Catherine Grimm was appalled at the ranking.
"The mayor and the council are always touting this city as number one in this and number one in that," Grimm said sarcastically. "I think they should be made aware that Jersey City is only number 93, and they have to work to get that ranking up."
City Council President Mariano Vega expressed surprise at the ranking.
"I am always glad to hear Jersey City mentioned in a national poll, but I don't believe that low ranking," Vega said. "I think it is a very 'sexy' city."
One resident who did not want to be named remarked, "I'm surprised they didn't give a 69."
Well, actually, Memphis, Tenn. has that honor.
Hot and bothered, or cold shower
Maybe the reason people aren't making whoopee in Jersey City as much as in Salt Lake City (No. 5) has something to do with many of the residents having to make ends meet.
After all, Jersey City is a place where, according to the 2006 U.S. Census American Community Survey, the average price of a home is $359,100, and the median income of a family is $41,639.
It's also a city where 18.4 percent of families and 20 percent of the overall population were living below the poverty line. The poverty line in the U.S. in 2006 for a single person under 65 was $10,488, and for a family group of four, including two children, it was $20,444.
Thus, it might be a little hard for the average Romeo and Juliet in JC to purchase the "Sex Sling" for $36 from Pure Romance or the "Orbit Ring Vibe" priced at $52 at Babeland.
Maybe just the fact that the city rated a mention in Men's Health is more proof of Jersey City's emergence as a "world-class city," as Mayor Jerramiah Healy likes to say.
Or maybe it should be appreciated as another frivolous title to be touted by civic boosters while glossing over other urban realities.
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