Well, last week was a break from new episodes, so faithful viewers had to wait until Monday night to see the catfight that took place at a fashion show in North Jersey. And this week, our usual recapper, talented Hoboken-based comedienne Eileen Budd, is on leave for a week (after watching the first nine episodes, who can blame her for needing a break?) But we promise she will be back next week with a combined recap of next week and this week's episode, for all of you loyal fans.

In the meantime, here's a shortened version of what happened Monday night:

-Teresa, claiming later that she was just doing it to be nice, said hello at the fashion show to Danielle.

-Danielle said, "Don't call me honey."

-Teresa asked if b*tch was better. (The attempt to be nice apparently couldn't last longer than seven seconds.)

-Words were had.

-Teresa declared, "I live in a 5 million dollar house." (So?)

-Danielle said, "It's in foreclosure." Which made Teresa wig out. She started chasing Danielle out of the building and into the parking lot.

-Then, Jacqueline's daughter thought that Danielle had punched her mom, for some reason, and so she pulled some of Danielle's hair out of her head. She later explained that it didn't count as assault, because it was just extensions.

-Danielle made it to the safe haven that was the inside of Kim G.'s car and started bawling. She called the cops.

-Later, Teresa told her husband Joe what a good thing she did, which of course turned him on.

Stay tuned for more next week. By the way, to our commenter DFetterman, who doesn't understand the concept of newspapers also including entertainment features, take a look further down on this site because there are at least two dozen news stories added in the last week that have been just waiting for you to add your intellect and comment and enlighten the public...We're waiting for your commentary on the issues....HONEY!!! Or should we call you something else?

Check back next week, Housewives fans! (Gay Curmudgeon especially!)